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media: album
words: dream blog confess horoscope feedback
groups: event club
purity score: 4% Pure
member/week: 64 votes  vote  
points: 37947

Unknown Distance

it says taken... I am not looking for play!

411:Ottawa,  Ontario  Canada
Stats:41-year-old  hitched  female
Seeking:women&men for friend
Last On:Jan-7-09   9:08 AM

Witty Words




Now let's be honest here If SIZE is an issue for you, Do NOT read any further...

I am active & moderately fit... but I am still a BBW and I'm not hiding that fact!

Now let's get this show on the road....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My profile needs an overhaul and I've been recently inspired by some other witty personal ads on this site... you know who you are!


Top 10 questions to never ask women on a first date...


1. What is the weirdest place you have ever had sex? (this one usually takes place online so that kind of kills off the dating prospects right there)

Me: Define weird... haha probably a rollerskating rink


2. Are you a virgin?

Me: Definitely a BORN AGAIN virgin oh yeah baby!


3. How much money do you make?

Me: So long as I'm permitted to ask the same question in return, I'm fine with that. I make enough to support my lifestyle but there's always room for improvement!


4. Do you have any children?

Me: Unfortunately yes I have one. I am still trying to figure out where I go to get a refund or exchange


5. How many sex partners have you had?

Me: Good question... more than Mother Theresa and less than Gene Simmons!


6. How long has it been since you had sex?

Me: Looks at watch... ahhhhh does solo monogamy count as sex?


7. At the end of the date you ask: Do you mind if I spend the night?

Me: hmmmmm I don't think they actually ASK this question but they certainly use a lot of body language to persuade it! I would have to say that if you are going to cook breakfast and you don't put ketchup on your eggs then spending the night is definitely an option. Hope you aren't afraid of heights because I have bunk beds and you get to be on top!


8. Do you do drugs?

Me: Depends... what kind are you selling?
(I think one moronic question deserves another!)


9. Have you ever had a one-night stand?

Me: hahahahaha I'd like to say none, but my purity rating would definitely conflict with that statement. I think the better question would be...have I had any GOOD one-night stands? But then I'd just be setting myself up for the offer of being proven wrong! lol


10. How much do you weigh?

Me: What are we...at the circus?? What scares me is that I took that helpful tidbit from a site that sees this as a legitmate issue -- meaning someone somewhere has actually done this!


Favourite Colour?
Royal Blue

Favourite Position?

behind the wheel of some obscenely powerful sports car! Ok I tricked you on that one!

Turn-ons: Accents, Brainiacs, Confidence, Erotica, Intelligence, Manners, Fresh Breath & Kissing!

Turn-offs: Bad odours, too many piercings/tattooes, bad attitudes, hidden agendas, PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SPELL! ughhhhhhhhhh

Favourite TV shows: Holmes on Homes (love a guy who's handy with tools), Star Trek Voyageur, CSI, How Is It Made? and strangely enough Radio Free Roscoe and Boy Meets World


Serious Stuff


WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A PARTNER?

Found him already...


DESCRIBE YOUR PERFECT FIRST DATE

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than
by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.


I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT

Kissing, Astrology, Computers / Internet, Gardening, Massage, Movies, Reading books and magazines, Science, Traveling, Video / online games...

Personality


ACTIVITIES

Cars and Bikes, Movies, Travel, Video Games, Work


PERSONALITY

Braniac, Funny, Romantic, Lusty, Spiritual


CARTOON I RESEMBLE   Wonder Women

WHAT I SEE IN THIS INKBLOT   the shadow enters the house of mirrors...


Media Stuff


ON THE CAN, I READ

nothing


MY DVD IS USUALLY SPINNING

Hitman, Stardust, The Godfather & Hero


MY JUKEBOX BEATS TO THE SOUND OF

Classic Rock, Blues, R&B & Hip-Hop

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My Tagsview all

Aztecson

You have the sweetest smile and such a great sense of humor, very nice..

Van Nuys, California
53-year-old Male
Aug-1-07

thetazer69

Well we could be just friends if you like reply

Halifax, Nova Scotia
51-year-old Male
May-25-07

thetazer69

You don't look your age at all luv what's your secret let's chat sometime okay friends reply

Halifax, Nova Scotia
51-year-old Male
May-16-07

Senor_Black

Interesting picture. You sure you don't mean just lick it?? LOL.

Miami Beach, Florida
39-year-old Male
Aug-22-06

rofflmfao

Happy Birthday sweetheart

Mississauga, Ontario
30-year-old Male
Jun-9-06

Cayman

Dam Girl you looken fine!!!

Oshawa, Ontario
36-year-old Male
Jul-30-05

ReddFoxx

And Happy Late Bday to you!!!!! Hope you had fun!!!

Nepean, Ontario
32-year-old Male
Jul-11-05

rofflmfao

Happy Birthday Lady!!! Muah

Mississauga, Ontario
30-year-old Male
Jun-9-05

yodah

(And intimate with fewer, yet...)

London, Ontario
45-year-old Male
May-20-05

Johnnyboy

Hey, how come my tag isn't in your testimonials little Miss Potty Mouth.

Trenton, Ontario
50-year-old Male
Apr-19-05

threebananas

You sound like a woman of my own heart. Wanna be friends?

Ottawa, Ontario
30-year-old Female
Jan-16-05

r4gg3dy4ndy

Hi Hot Chocolate wish you a Merry X-Mas and a Happy New Year

Dusseldorf, Nordrhein-Westfalen
49-year-old Male
Dec-20-04

zorba104

I can return that massage. It would be both erotic and romantic. Try Me!!!

Woodbridge, Virginia
59-year-old Male
Apr-16-04

liv2trip

4% pure score what did you miss the mile high club lol you rock

Ottawa, Ontario
46-year-old Male
Aug-13-03

dr_eagel

you have very nice neast between your breast , hope i can live in side your neast ,.

10 Ramadan City, Egypt
58-year-old Male
Oct-18-02

Birthday:Jun, 9  Gemini
Sexuality:Straight
Joined:Jun-19-02   8:36 PM


Roots:Mixed Race
Spirit:Jedi Knight
Longitude:Average
Latitude:Full Sized
Offspring:Got Kids
Job:Administrative
Insight:Univ/College Grad.


Ethanol:Non-Drinker
Nicotine:Non-Smoker
Ganja:Just Say No

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